How to lose all your money in ten days: financial advice for students

Translation: Colin Fisher

If I had to bet I would guess it’s easier to lose a month’s pay in ten days than it would be to lose a man in ten days… Here comes some financial advice that you should likely not follow, inspired by the classic movie How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.

First and foremost, you should spend like there’s no tomorrow! Are you awake at 23:45 on a Tuesday? Don’t forget to get yourself a Tuesday special at Dominos. Even if the clock is creeping over midnight, there are endless deals to choose from! And if you don’t want a pizza, it’s easier than it was before to get food straight to your door with a service like Wolt. Delivery fees are a great way to spend!

Many businesses and other establishments have student discounts, which you should enjoy at every opportunity. In fact, you should give yourself the green light to use the student discount list like a checklist! And really, who has time to cook for themselves? You could always go out to eat for every meal, which saves so much time that you come out even. There are so many places with so many fabulous deals. So, if you're already getting yourself food, you might as well get a drink as well!

If you’re not going out every weekend, are you really living? Don’t forget that you can’t let yourself be seen in the same clothes more than once. For this, shops like New Yorker and H&M are your best friends. Who needs to plan when you can buy cheap and often? Don’t forget: you can always buy clothes online and have them delivered. It’s one of the best ways to get your bank account down to zero!

You should avoid budgeting like the plague. It doesn’t do any good to live your life with such anxiety. If your card is declined, just get a new one! Which leads right into our next point: always use a debit card. After all, who wants to see what they're spending?

Pay every bill as soon as possible! Who cares about saving what little change you can earn when you can pay the bills? Speaking of which, it doesn’t matter what interest rates your bank account offers because the goal is to spend it all within ten days of getting paid. And whatever you do, don’t save, and never give yourself a spending goal, you’d just be limiting yourself.

You don’t need to be rich to spend like you are. Credit cards and loans are a good way to spend as you see fit. Don’t worry about paying the bills before they come. That’s what we in the business call a ‘problem for later’. And, like Andie says at the end of the movie, “you can’t lose something you never had.”

If you don’t have an addiction, then it’s time for you to get one: sniffing tobacco, drinking coffee, or whatever else: they're all great ways to ensure you're constantly spending. And forget about paying the parking meter, it’s much more interesting to see how much you’ve racked up in fines. Just think of it as playing the lottery.

It’s not difficult to lose all your money in ten days. A combination of ignoring financial responsibility and dedicating yourself to impossible financial decisions will guarantee success.