Not Everyone Has Their Shit Together, and That’s Okay

When I googled “quotes about planning for the future,” two of the first ones I came across were “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans” and “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” That’s all well and good, but what if you don’t know what plans you want to make? How can you plan for a future when you don’t know what you want? You’re expected to know what you want to do when you’re little, decide what subjects to study, go to university or get a job, and then when you find a career, you stick with it, find a house, start a family, settle down and whatever. But is that what people actually want? Do I have to want that?

And even if I do know what I want and I plan and plan and plan, something can always get in the way. Something like, oh, I don’t know… a global pandemic, maybe? Planning far into the future is also a privilege that so many people can’t afford, especially in the wake of something like Covid-19. Even if you’ve put time, money and effort into your future and into your plans, all the preparation you’ve done so far could be for nothing. I saw something on Instagram about how you’re never two paychecks away from being a millionaire, but most people are always two paychecks away from being in deep financial shit. Planning for the future during Covid-19 became less about big dreams and more about hoarding toilet paper. The same thing is happening with Brexit – I know this won’t be relevant for most people reading this, but living with the kind of uncertainty that 2020 brought along really makes me wonder if there’s even a point to having plans at the moment.

Graphics / Margrét Aðalheiður Önnu Þorgeirsdóttir

I’m writing this at the start of the new year, when everyone is making plans and thinking about the future, but how many of those people will actually stick to their plans? Their big weight loss goals, or their plans to travel, or be more sociable, or find a partner? Maybe we need to rethink what kinds of plans we make, and instead of planning far into the future, we just take life as it comes. Especially if you’re like me and you really don’t know what you want to do with your life. If opportunities arise that I might enjoy, then yeah, I’ll take them and see where they go, but I don’t know what form they’ll take or where I might end up, and that’s completely fine. And I think as a society we need to be more comfortable with the idea of quitting. If something you thought you’d like isn’t working for you, if you aren’t getting what you want or need out of it (whether that’s money, personal growth, or more opportunities), then I think quitting and starting over can really be the best option. It’s not for everyone or every situation, but you shouldn’t have to do something you hate or something that’s making you miserable if you don’t have to. I’m not saying everyone should give up at the first hurdle, or that everyone is in a position to quit, but I want people to be able to say no to taking on more at school/work/in their personal lives without being ashamed or to admit they’ve taken on too much and let some of it go.

And one last thing: I don’t think you need to know what you want from life at all. People change and grow every day, and what you like one day can change the next. If you have a big dream and big plans for your life, then sure, go ahead and follow them, but if you don’t, then just relax – I honestly don’t think anyone really knows what they’re doing, no matter how accomplished they seem. Plans can be there as safety nets; if we plan for the worst, then when something comes along out of the blue, your plans may mitigate the consequences, but can you really plan to be somewhere in five years’ time or something like that? Not really. So, if you’re like me and you don’t know where you want to be, or if you know what you want but don’t know how you’ll get there, stop worrying about all the people who look like they have their shit together, because in reality they probably don’t, and even if they do I’m willing to bet that they had a whole lot of help and luck to get them there and it wasn’t all just hard work and long hours. So if you don’t have your shit together, know that you definitely aren’t the only one, and not knowing where you’re going doesn’t have to be as overwhelming and scary as some people make it out to be.