Ukraine's War from the Perspective of a Russian Citizen: Interview with Victoria Bakshina

Victoria Bakshina (she/her) is a language teacher, linguist and currently working on her M.A. in translation studies and Mandarin. She’s been a resident in Iceland for many years, but visited her native country, Russia, earlier this year on February 18th and was there when the invasion of Ukraine took place. The Student Paper sat down with Victoria and discussed what it’s like being a Russian who is openly opposed  to Putin’s “special military operation” - Putin’s war. 

“I hadn’t seen my family for two years due to the pandemic, and was preparing a dinner party the day I woke up to the news on February 24th. When the guests arrived, we didn’t discuss anything else. My cousin asked me whether I planned to go back to Iceland after learning about the war - whether I was going to betray my country.”

Soon after the invasion started, countries around Russia started closing their airspace and Victoria’s trip back to Iceland, which she considers her second home, became more complicated.

“I worried about even getting back home to Iceland. I flew from Siberia, where my family lives, and at the airport I thought to myself that this might be the last time I see them. I flew to Moscow and waited for hours in a line spanning a kilometer to get euros in cash - there’s only one bank in Moscow which allows you to open an account in euros.”

Upon arrival in Budapest, she found herself in the middle of complete chaos.

“A woman approached me at the airport in Budapest, who turned out to be my Ukrainian namesake, Victoria. She’s from Kharkiv and she and her family had woken up to explosions, packed their things and driven for 29 hours to get away. We sat on the floor of the airport (which was overflowing with people) and talked for a while, and I felt so ashamed as a Russian speaking to a Ukrainian. All of a sudden we both started crying and I apologized over and over, while my namesake kept repeating that it wasn’t my fault. I helped Victoria and her family as best as I could, but I don’t know what happened to them.”

Once back in Iceland, Victoria began protesting outside the Russian embassy alongside other Russians, who all felt deeply ashamed in wake of the war.

“Of course we think to ourselves that we should have protested corruption and Putin’s actions more fiercely, but we did, we protested the annexation of Crimea without any results. Russian police has responded incredibly harshly to protests, both then and now, where protesters are tortured and electrocuted, beaten very badly and raped by police officers. The shame we feel due to the responsibility we’re meant to take for Putin’s actions affects us deeply, and we’ve demonstrated our opposition by protesting fiercely outside the embassy. Somehow, my daily life kept on going, but when I welcomed new students at the language school where I teach, I changed the way I introduced myself - I omitted mentioning that I was from Russia, fearing that it might backfire on me.”

The constant stress alongside news of Russia’s cruel operations had a profound physical and mental effect on Victoria.

“I just felt absolutely terrible. I reached out to Natasha [who recently published the book ‘Language Acquisition in Times of War’] who had started working for the Red Cross. She advised me to do some volunteer work and help out the children at the family center in Fíladelfía. I made sandwiches, brewed coffee, gave milk to children and talked to them, which helped me a lot and kept me from isolating myself completely. The conscription issued in Russia this past September and my long-term anxiety completely broke me; I fainted at work and had to take time off from my work and studies for a few days while I gathered myself.”

Victoria’s comments on the war have been sought after by Icelandic media ever since her return, all the while her mother back in Russia has expressly forbidden her to talk about the situation publicly. 

“I have expressed myself publicly, under my name, and revealed my thoughts on the war without telling my family. Simultaneously, they’ve sent me all sorts of Russian news and photos, where the war is called a special military operation and Ukrainians are painted as neo-nazis who’ve been murdering Russians for eight years without a word from the rest of the world. We’ve fought and I’ve had to cut off communications, because they believe the propaganda put forth by Putin’s regime. My mother contacted me recently and asked what she could possibly say if the authorities were to knock on her door and ask about me, and that’s when I fully realized that I have quite literally put my whole family in danger by speaking openly about the war. I told my mother to say that I’ve gone completely insane, that she’s disowned me and cut all contact, in an attempt to protect them somehow.”

Even though she feels her family lives in a different reality, she tries to maintain some contact.

“I have the opportunity to access information from independent media sources, but my mother does not. I’ve stopped criticizing her or trying to change her mind, because I’m afraid I’ll lose my family if I keep at it. Natasha and I looked through photos of November 4th - Russia’s Unity Day - where celebrations are held and Russia is portrayed as holy, there’s talk of ‘our boys in Ukraine’ and the war is compared to World War II which was considered holy since it was the ultimate battle of good and evil. I cannot stand it when this war is described as good fighting evil - now the discourse in Russia is changing and has become Russia’s war against all of the Western world.”

As our conversation comes to a close, Victoria mentions the importance of calling the war in Ukraine by its true name - Russian war crimes, and calls for a fiercer response from the international community. 

“I want everyone to be aware of what’s really going on - the crimes Russia is committing in Ukraine - but this also exemplifies the collapse of diplomacy in Europe, writing reports and sweeping things under the rug doesn’t work anymore and Russia must be forced into negotiations, everyone has a duty to talk and negotiate peace with the involvement of other countries. At the same time, I’d like to ask people to go easy on the Russian people who are against this war - all Russians who publicly protest Putin’s war are in a very difficult position. We need support and I wish that governments would implement measures to protect and welcome those of us who openly oppose the war. We face a lot of discrimination because of our nationality, but those of us who are elsewhere in the world and have access to unbiased media really are protesting and putting ourselves and others at risk by doing so.”