A New Life in a New Country
Photo: Dino Ðula
All people move, change, wander, migrate ...
Even though we have been doing that since the beginning of human existence, the fast-paced modern world has pushed the people’s search for happiness the furthest it has ever been. We are all looking for our own place under the sun, and quite often we end up finding it outside of our comfort zones, in a faraway country. Once that happens, we are all bound to go through a similar process of assimilation that everyone will tell you is universally difficult. So here is how to make that painful transition slightly easier, one step at a time.
To start with, it is worth noting that moving places is one of the most stressful things a person can do in their life. Not only from the sheer organizational and practical side of things, but starting from the bottom can be quite challenging, especially if you find yourself in a place where you have no support system in place, which conveniently leads us to our first step.
Relationships
Relationships are important, be them romantic or friendly, because they form the foundations of a network of people who encourage us to thrive but also act as a safety net when we encounter a problem too hard to overcome on our own. However, not every relationship we make will become a close, personal one – but it is important we keep on looking. Relationships need time, effort and nurturing, so if you make a new friend or get to meet that special someone, don't forget to give; share a coffee with them, go to the movies or for a walk, be a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on, spend some quality time with them and grow together through and alongside the relationship. And if it doesn’t work – remember that not everyone in your life is meant to stay there forever, some people are there to help (or be helped) and just like that, they may leave.
Social circles
It is not uncommon for people to struggle with the first step, after all, there are no “friend-trees” or “partner-stores”. An easy way to overcome this obstacle is to first better understand yourself – what are your hobbies and dreams, how do you unwind, what music do you listen to and what is your favorite ice-cream? Once you have learnt more about yourself, seek out gatherings and events where you are more likely to find like-minded people. Local game stores in Reykjavík offer free game nights, bars promote pub quizzes, stand-up comedy nights and even social dances. Even your own student networks readily organize trips to various places of interest all around town.
If this step still sounds too hard, start small and enter a conversation with your colleague, or head over to the nearest swimming pool for an authentic experience and conversation with a local person sitting right next to you.
Push through your comfort zone
Everything you are right now is thanks to the personal challenges you’ve encountered in life and second-hand involvement in lives of your closest friends. Or rather it’s even more accurate to say that you ARE those experiences and once you understand that, you realize that your potential is only limited by yourself. We can’t possibly know if we have a talent in some sport or knack for music unless we’ve tried it in the past. So if you spot an experience you can take part in that you haven’t tried yet – go for it!
Have that fancy dinner in a restaurant all by yourself, join a band playing an instrument you’ve never played before, volunteer for an organization you feel strongly about or start writing a novel. There is so little to lose and so much to potentially gain, as this might be that one thing you are extremely good at.
Photo: DIno Ðula
Goals
Finally, set yourself realistic short-term and long-term goals that will help you stay on the right path in times when you find it hard to find encouragement or motivation. The key here is to not to be too harsh on yourself and understand that you are not following anyone else’s schedule but your own. You don’t have to run a marathon in less than a year, or knit yourself a complete outfit using Icelandic wool. You can simply be a good friend to yourself through positive reinforcement. After all, the only person you have to spend the rest of your life with – is yourself.
All these steps intertwine with each other. They can be accomplished separately or together and in any combination. So, if you find yourself struggling and not feeling ready to advance, just stick to that one thing that works for you and keep at it slowly to reach that goal you had set for yourself. Everything that’s worth doing, is worth doing poorly – because even a little bit is better than nothing.
If you are reading this article, there is a high chance it has been written specifically for you and if that is the case, I am happy to have had your attention for this long. While the nature of your own journey is irrelevant, in this case, the fact you have taken that hard, first step speaks volumes of your commitment towards becoming a better - you -. And when the times get hard, always remember that you are never alone.
All people move, change, wander, migrate ...
We are all in this together.