Eurovision 2023: United By Music

It’s that time of year again - you all get to read my completely arbitrary opinions about the songs that have been put forward for the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest. 

The theme this year is “United by Music”, and it has indeed been a collaboration between the United Kingdom and Ukraine. Even though Ukraine won last year, they are currently unable to host (for obvious reasons) - thus, one of the “big five” countries (France, Germany, Italy, Spain, the United Kingdom) was able to put themselves forward to host instead. Since the UK came second, they seemed the obvious choice for hosting this coming contest. Though I do find it curious that they’d be interested in this, given all of the Brexit nonsense. Anyway, the contest is to be hosted in Liverpool, where the cost of one night’s stay has skyrocketed to over £1000 per night - not that it matters, no one seemed to be able to get a ticket to the contest anyway.

Russia is, unsurprisingly, not competing.

This year’s entries do not disappoint, ranging from the usual sad ballads, to the plainly weird (Croatia I’m looking at you). So, without further ado, I present to you the entries for the Eurovision Song Contest 2023:

Credit: Eurovision World

• Albania Duje, by Albina & Familja Kelmendi: Chosen through the national selection contest Festivali i Këngës, this song appears to be about the importance of family and love. An emotional and powerful entry, but with so many long held notes I can see it being difficult to perform well live. Overall not a bad song, but definitely not the catchiest this year.

• Armenia Future Lover, by Brunette: Armenia hasn’t won the contest yet, and sadly I don’t think this is their year either, but you never know. Brunette spoke about how it’s a ‘poetic canvas’ and a ‘letter with no addressee’ - maybe I’m just not cultured and artsy enough to appreciate this one. Sorry Armenia.

• Australia Promise, by Voyager: This song is eclectic genre-wise to say the least. It starts off feeling like it would fit well into a musical like The Greatest Showman and then moves through metal and straight on to retro-space travel type guitar solos. The band is called Voyager, and they take us on one hell of a journey. Safe to say I love it.

• Austria Who the Hell is Edgar, by Teya and Salena: This one is Weird with a capital W. Written from the perspective of someone possessed by Edgar Allan Poe, this song is utterly bizarre and yet strangely catchy. I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t make the final to be honest.

• Azerbaijan Tell me More, by TuralTuranX: A sweet song that wouldn’t feel out of place in a Rom-Com or a coming of age film. It's very wholesome and even if it’s not gimmicky enough to make it far, I think I’ll be listening to it on sunny days as I’m walking to work.

• Belgium Because Of You, by Gustaph: This song has grown on me, a feel-good, upbeat, melody, with some very positive lyrics about loving yourself, being strong and celebrating. A classic ‘Eurovision’ vibe. I hope to hear it at Kiki’s this summer, or at karaoke some time.

• Croatia Mama ŠČ!, by Let 3: This is indescribable. Really. Go watch it. I have no words. I hope it does well.

• Cyprus Break A Broken Heart, by Andrew Lambrou: This is your standard Eurovision Ballad. I think this could do well, depending on live performance and staging. Lots of collaboration went into this song, with an international team of writers and producers, who have worked on Eurovision entries before, as well as working on albums released by big names like Taylor Swift.

• Czechia My Sister’s Crown, by Vesna: I actually didn’t like this song when I first heard it, but it's grown on me to the point where I can now say I love it. It's a feminist entry, written as a protest against gender inequality, and it has the potential for some very fun staging options.

• Denmark Breaking My Heart, by Reiley:: This song makes me feel old, I found myself thinking ‘Is this the sort of thing kids listen to now?’ It's certainly the sort of thing that could have been popular when I was in school. The singer is Faroese, and looks quite sweet, so I hope he does well, but it’s not my favourite.

• Estonia Bridges, by Alika: This one is depressing even though  the lyrics are positive and uplifting, but it's very emotional and  reminds me of Switzerland's entry in 2021 (Tout l’Univers). Powerful stuff, but not the reason I enjoy watching Eurovision.

• Finland Cha Cha Cha, by  Kaarija: I unironically love this song. It’s a very Finnish entry, and I’d expect nothing less from them. It’s easy to sing along to the chorus, and I admire the bold change from the electro-metal/whatever-the-hell-genre is at the start to the europop/disco ending. This song really embodies what Eurovision means to me. Douze points.

• France Evidemment, by La Zarra: As one of the Big Five, this one is guaranteed a place in the final. I quite like it, and if the staging is anything like the official music video I think it’ll be a fun entry to watch, but I’m not sure it’ll stand out amongst some of the others. I always tend to forget that a lot of the Eurovision audience are middle-aged and more conservative in their music tastes than me, so maybe this will do better than I expect.

• Georgia Echo by Iru: Iru actually won Junior Eurovision in 2011 as part of a group, so she is no stranger to the contest. I like this song, but I think how it does hinges on how it will be staged. I’m hoping the live performance is off-the-wall and exciting like the music video hints it could be.

• Germany Blood and Glitter by Lord of the Lost: This song was chosen the same day as the Icelandic entry, so I suspect most readers of this issue will have chosen to watch Söngvakeppnin instead. Germany is Guaranteed a spot in the final, but even if they weren’t I think this one would have made it. If you hadn’t told me this was Germany I would have guessed it was Finland.

• Greece What They Say, by Victor Vernicos: This song could be the background music to an emotional make-over montage in a film. It’s not bad, but if it makes it to the final I think I’ll be a bit disappointed that it’s taken a spot from a more worthy entry. Maybe it’ll grow on me.

• Iceland Power, by Diljá: As I’m sure many of you are aware, Diljá won Söngvakeppnin - the song has an uplifting message, and the staging and performance were really good. When I think of ‘Eurovision’ songs in the past that aren’t just relying on shock value or gimmickiness, it’s songs like this one that come to mind.

• Ireland We Are One, by Wild Youth: The music video is a lot more fun than any of the live performances I’ve been able to watch, but maybe they’ll spice it up for Eurovision. As a celebration of diversity, ‘We are One’ really fits with the overall theme of Eurovision, a wholesome entry that I hope will do well.

• Israel Unicorn, by Noa Kirel: Unicorn just doesn’t do it for me. Its poppy and fun, and has a good message, but the different parts of the song don’t seem cohesive to me. There’s one bit in the middle where ‘phenomenal’ is rhymed with ‘feminal’, which throws me off every time I hear it. My opinion doesn’t seem to be the norm though, as this one is currently a bit of a favourite.

• Italy Due Vite, by Marco Mengoni: Måneskin was clearly an anomalous entry from Italy and now we’re being treated to another Eurovision Ballad. It’s beautiful, powerful, emotional, but it’s a ballad. Again. It’ll be in the final, as Italy is one of the Big Five.

• Latvia Aija, by Sudden Lights: The live performance at the Latvian Nationals was good, the music video is unnerving, but the song overall doesn’t strike me as particularly memorable. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad, just not really anything else either.

• Lithuania Stay, by Monika Linkyte: Monika has represented Lithuania before, in 2015 when she came 18th, and honestly I think I preferred that song. This is another emotional ballady entry, and I don’t think it can compete with some of the more exciting entries. Having said this, I’ve been humming it all day, and it is annoyingly catchy.

• Malta Dance (Our Own Party), by The Busker: The best part of this song is the saxophone, and unfortunately it’s no ‘Epic Sax Guy’ (Moldova’s entry in 2010). This entry had a fun performance in the Maltese national competition, but to me this is background music. Entirely pleasant, but not the main event.

• Moldova Soarele si Luna, by Pasha Parfeni: I love the way this has been staged in the National Finals - very ‘spring cult’ vibes. The lyrics read more like a pagan prayer than song lyrics and I am 100% here for it. They’ve taken a leaf out of Ukraine’s book and have some very charismatic instrumentalists on stage, including some drummers with a seemingly never-ending amount of energy.

• Netherlands Burning Daylight, by Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper: This ballad is a duet, so that’s something I suppose. It’s clearly a beautiful song, but it doesn’t feel like it captures the fun aspects of Eurovision to me. It seems to be taking itself too seriously.

• Norway Queen of Kings, by Alessandra: This is a clear winner for me, the song is feminist, powerful, and it’s going to make it into my gym playlist. I hope she isn’t let down by her live performance, which was a little pitchy in the nationals (understandable given all the dancing/exercise she does during her performance).

• Poland Solo, by Blanka: As I’m writing this, there are claims that the Polish national selections were rigged.. I’m not sure how it’ll look at the time this is published, but if Solo does in fact go to the finals, I think it could do well. It's fun, it's poppy, it's catchy and it's all about independence and self-reliance.

• Portugal Ai Coracao, by Mimicat: Stop the press! Portugal isn’t sending a ballad? What is this? This upbeat number has a lot going on costume-wise, and I do enjoy it more than Portugal’s usual offerings, but there are so many good songs this year, I just don’t know if it stands out enough.

• Romania D.G.T (Off and On), by Theodor Andrei: Theodor Andrei is only 18, and the song is sung in both English and Romanian. Apparently the title D.G.T. is a pun, but this might be lost on any non-Romanian language speakers unfortunately. This isn’t my favourite, but it’s certainly catchy and I can see why the audience might like it.

• San Marino Like an Animal, by Piqued Jacks: I get very Indie-pop, supporting artist vibes from this entry. It’s good, but the chorus isn’t something I know how to sing along to. It’s less something I’d dance along to, and more something I’d put on the radio on a road trip once my voice is tired from singing along to other things.

• Serbia Samo Mi Se Spava, by Luke Black: Impeccable staging in the national finals - it ticks all my boxes for a Eurovision entry, and I really hope everyone else loves this as much as I do. The slow pace is certainly livened up by the performance and staging.

• Slovenia Carpe Diem, by Joker Out: So Much Yes. In the national finals all the band members were wearing outfits I’d gladly steal, and they were all clearly having the time of their lives during their performance. Can’t wait to see them in the semi’s.

• Spain EAEA, by Blanca Paloma: This entry reminds me of the French entry last year. It’s different, and has grown on me a lot since I first heard it. Spain, like France, Germany, Italy, Ukraine, and the UK, are guaranteed a place in the final.

• Sweden Tattoo, by Loreen: The song is fine, but after her win in 2012, Loreen is really sticking to what worked before, and I find it repetitive. 

• Switzerland Watergun, by Remo Forrer: I’m struggling to see how this entry doesn’t count as political (and as we all know, Eurovision is famously ‘Apolitical’.........). It’s slow, and sad, and I’ll definitely be singing along to it in the shower (I’d like to sincerely apologise to my housemates in advance).

• Ukraine Heart of Steel, by Tvorchi: As last year's winners Ukraine are guaranteed a spot in the final. Usually they would have hosted, but given the current circumstances it’s not possible. I’m excited to see how it is staged as the music video shows potential for something really impactful.

• United Kingdom I Wrote A Song, by Mae Muller: Maybe I only like this because I’m British. I don’t think it’s a winning entry, and it’s not like some of the other entries which I’ve listened to on repeat for hours, but if it came up in a random playlist, I wouldn’t skip it.